The following post contains NO SPOILERS at all. Please, read on with ease. I would never do that to a fellow believer.
The new episode of Game of Thrones crashed HBO Go service. It shouldn't come as a surprise, considering the huge following the series has garnered since its inception in 2011. So, you automatically assume everyone who follows the series would have seen the latest episode by the time you got done with it. Right?
Wrong. Very wrong. And here is why I feel like kicking this one particular guy's arse black and blue. He Put up a major spoiler as his STATUS MESSAGE on Facebook. Who DOES that? What kind of imbecile are you? Sadist. How would you like it if I read the entire series of books before the series has time to catch up and post it on your timeline? Let's see who has the last laugh then.
All of us has that one friend/sibling/teacher in our lives, who derives the greatest pleasure in sucking the joy out of the one thing that matters to us in life. The more excited you are about a particular book/movie/TV series, the more likely you are to end up feeling disappointed because of some nincompoop giving out spoilers for free.
I, personally, like to feel my emotions first hand when I am reading a book. I want to experience the shock, the surprise, the pain of losing a favorite character. I want to feel the kick in the gut when I find out the good guy was the bad guy all along. Just being able to feel those emotions, are what keeps us hooked to anything. And when somebody comes along and casually mentions the plot of a favorite book in a conversation, my world stops. I feel cheated. Like somebody gulped down the last piece of kebab (or paneer if you'd rather read vegetarian today) on my plate, that I was saving for the end. And it is in that moment that I know that I am, perhaps, capable of lashing out in a murderous rage, reaching out across the table to smack that person across the face with all my strength. And yelling obscenities in the middle of a crowded room. And humiliating the person till they melt into the ground and are never, ever able to read or watch anything without my permission again. But of course, I don't really do that. I don't want people to think I am loony. So instead, I just smile, and tell them to bugger off, and try to tell myself that my brain didn't really register the truth that was revealed (Does anybody else do that?). But of course, I know now.
I was thinking, what would be the perfect way to deal with SpoilerJerks? I have a few solutions for you. Try them out, and let me know if you got some satisfaction.
If any of these tricks work for you, don't forget to come back and post it here. I will sit back and think up better revengeSpoilers, meanwhile.
Happy watching. Happy concealing. And Happy Revealing.
May the spoilers, ever, be in your favor.
Naina T.
The new episode of Game of Thrones crashed HBO Go service. It shouldn't come as a surprise, considering the huge following the series has garnered since its inception in 2011. So, you automatically assume everyone who follows the series would have seen the latest episode by the time you got done with it. Right?
Wrong. Very wrong. And here is why I feel like kicking this one particular guy's arse black and blue. He Put up a major spoiler as his STATUS MESSAGE on Facebook. Who DOES that? What kind of imbecile are you? Sadist. How would you like it if I read the entire series of books before the series has time to catch up and post it on your timeline? Let's see who has the last laugh then.
All of us has that one friend/sibling/teacher in our lives, who derives the greatest pleasure in sucking the joy out of the one thing that matters to us in life. The more excited you are about a particular book/movie/TV series, the more likely you are to end up feeling disappointed because of some nincompoop giving out spoilers for free.
I, personally, like to feel my emotions first hand when I am reading a book. I want to experience the shock, the surprise, the pain of losing a favorite character. I want to feel the kick in the gut when I find out the good guy was the bad guy all along. Just being able to feel those emotions, are what keeps us hooked to anything. And when somebody comes along and casually mentions the plot of a favorite book in a conversation, my world stops. I feel cheated. Like somebody gulped down the last piece of kebab (or paneer if you'd rather read vegetarian today) on my plate, that I was saving for the end. And it is in that moment that I know that I am, perhaps, capable of lashing out in a murderous rage, reaching out across the table to smack that person across the face with all my strength. And yelling obscenities in the middle of a crowded room. And humiliating the person till they melt into the ground and are never, ever able to read or watch anything without my permission again. But of course, I don't really do that. I don't want people to think I am loony. So instead, I just smile, and tell them to bugger off, and try to tell myself that my brain didn't really register the truth that was revealed (Does anybody else do that?). But of course, I know now.
I was thinking, what would be the perfect way to deal with SpoilerJerks? I have a few solutions for you. Try them out, and let me know if you got some satisfaction.
- If it's an ongoing series based on a book, like our GoT here, gobble up the book till the end, before the series catch up. Call your SpoilerJerk and tell him all in one go. BooYeah!
- Reveal to SpoilerJerk how Breaking Bad season 4 ends. And say goodbye to a friend forever.
- Of course, if SpoilerJerk has already seen Breaking Bad, #2 will be useless. So instead, reveal to him how Dexter season 4 ends.
- If #2 and #3 don't work, write your own kick ass thriller, with the most unbelievable ending. And JUST when SpoilerJerk picks it up to read, tell him how it ends. With a smile.
- Bake SpoilerJerk a cake. Chocolate cake. ;). For those of you who don't follow, go watch/read The Help.
- Plan a very elaborate surprise birthday party with SpoilerJerk for his/her better half. And just 1 day before...reveal the truth.Works well if SpoilerJerk is about to make a marriage proposal.
- Gift a super fast murder mystery to SpoilerJerk. And somewhere in the middle of the book, just when the plot thickens, pen down the name of the murderer. Sit back and wait for SpoilerJerk's call.
If any of these tricks work for you, don't forget to come back and post it here. I will sit back and think up better revengeSpoilers, meanwhile.
Happy watching. Happy concealing. And Happy Revealing.
May the spoilers, ever, be in your favor.
Naina T.
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