Birthdays

Karthik Ramesh never wishes people a Happy Birthday. He always goes the long route and takes the pain to say, "Many more happy returns". It's such a mouthful. Even when he has to text his wishes, he will type out the entire bloody sentence as if that's normal. It bugs the pickles out of me.

What does that sentence even mean? What returns are we talking about? It sounds as if your entire life has been an investment and it's on this day that you wish you get some returns on it. The first half sounds about right, but you ain't getting no returns on this one, son.

His argument to the above rant is going to be, for that matter, what does "Happy Birthday" mean? We are happy you were born, so let's hope today, on the day you were born ages ago, your day is happy? All the other days of the year don't mean for squat? Sigh. He will be making sense if he says that. I hate it when the man is right.

Anyhoo, I hope you're getting good returns on your life and living happily each day.

Naina

Facebookers Anynoymous

Hi everyone,

My name is Naina, and I am a Facebook addict.

Sounds like a legit statement today. I have made one unsuccessful attempt to go offline, I think I succeeded 4 days before I was back. Pavan shared an interesting TED video with me today. It made me realise I need to write about this and speak up about my spiralling condition before it gets worse. I have a hundred things running through my head right now that I want to talk about, I shall try to keep this post as structured as possible.

Let's go back a decade. Facebook was the new thing in town. Nim introduced me to it, I coaxed a bunch of people onto it, Indian population on Facebook hit critical mass, and wham! Suddenly everyone was using it. Remember how cigarette smoking was cool back in the day, before scientists discovered its harmful effects? I am not hinting at anything here, but it just felt like an interesting thing to highlight. My own dad went from, "Beta, don't put up your pictures online" to "I have a political opinion and I shall share it with the world" in a seemingly short span of time. He has also begun sharing pictures of us on his profile. I am fairly certain he is not the only dad in the world to have undergone that transformation. My sister, the very person who introduced me to the monster, decided to quit the habit before it got to her. I think that's one of the few sensible things she has ever done in her life. (Even if she was doing a course in Corporate Communications which involved pieces of Digital communication at the time). I, meanwhile, went from an overly-excited-teenager-who-liked-to-share-all-pictures-she-ever-clicked (while avoiding emotional online outbursts), to randomly updating status, to seldom changing profile picture, to silently stalking PoI, to obsessing over my newsfeed while changing my profile picture once a month routine. Facebook was also evolving. It was taking in all of my habits, feeding it into a database, learning from it, and spewing out more stuff that would keep me coming back. I hate it. I wake up at 6.59 AM every morning like clockwork. I try to rest my brain to go back to sleep. I pick up my phone telling myself it's just to check the time. Before I know it, it is already 8AM and I am watching random videos on Facebook. Videos which now have ads. On my way to work, I promise myself I will make the traffic jams productive. I end up draining 50% of my battery watching random crap on Facebook. A year back, I would idle away time spent in a car looking out the window, taking in the buildings and eateries all along the road. Today, I hardly notice where I am headed. I have to force myself to look up, out the window. Whenever I have a few minutes to myself, I am instantly bored. I pick up the stupid "smart" device, and I innocently click on the Facebook button. I have stopped arguing with Karthik when he tells me I am addicted to my phone. I agree with him. I am an addict. In fact, I spend so much time on Facebook, that each time I open the app, only the first 5-6 stories in my feed are new to me, the rest I have already browsed a few minutes earlier.
I don't think being online helps you stay connected. My attention waivers each time I am out with people, my legs are shaking and my fingers fumbling around looking for my smart phone that is just yelling to be unlocked. I am not with the people, I am without them. 8 out of 10 items on my newsfeed are not even about people. It is sponsored content, recommended content or content from some group that I follow. I know exactly which people on my friends list hate Modi and which ones love him. I have stopped reading articles or comments shared by them sub consciously because I realise they are going to be biased. I hate taking sides in political matters. I don't have an opinion any more. I am convinced we are headed towards an Orwellian world, where Facebook, Google and Apple will be the Big Brothers. We have, to some extent already lost the freedom of choice, and will continue losing control over the next few years. Before that eventuality, let's live a little more.
Giving "offline" another shot.

Tell your friends what's on your minds, no more!

Naina

Usual Rant

There is something immensely satisfying about stalking random people on Facebook and trying to speculate about the juicy details of their boring lives. It's especially fun when the person being stalked is a know relationship cheater and you stumble upon a supposedly innocent conversation made public on their walls. I am not pointing at anyone, just saying. Merely indulging in a bit of early morning musings. The weather outside is beautiful. I discovered a flying (huge!!) cockroach in my bedroom and am a little scandalised as to what that means about the reach of this disgusting creature into my inner sanctum.

I hate cockroaches. A statement that JUST doesn't get said enough. If you guys have any valuable solutions, please drop me a message. I have tried EVERYTHING under the sun to get rid of them. They just keep coming back.

Anyhoo, roaches aside. Life has been pretty exciting recently. I am trying to start work on a proper work of literature, but I think the blog has sucked the finest out of me in it's first year. (Please don't be laughing at that statement, it would break my heart!). Or I just don't have any sadness left in life. It is said people express themselves better when they are sad or in pain. I haven't felt any triggers to write recently. Brain running dry.

I have been watching brilliant things on Amazon Prime and TV. Discovering a new side to the Fitzgeralds with Z, an Amazon Prime program about the life of Zelda and F. Scott Fitzgerald. I tried to read This Side of Paradise post that, I think I am going to give up on it now. I am now watching Genius, a National Geographic show about the life of Albert Einstein. If the series is to be believed, he had a genius wife as well, who got caught up in the life of a mum and housewife to do much with her brilliant brains. I just realised, both these series have the same theme. The woman giving up on her dreams because she fell in love with a guy and decided to settle down. These producer guys are trying to make the most of the feminist sentiment while they can.

While taking a break from This Side of Paradise, I finished reading Old Man and the Sea. And picked up An Atlas of Impossible Longing. All this while I thought it was another Arundhati Roy book. Turns out it isn't.

I should probably start getting ready for work.

Till something pops up in my head,
Naina

For Humanity

If the 60s were known for punk rockers and flower power, the 10s are definitely going to be known for the outbreak of the feminist culture. Only, it is going to be glorified to be the the beginning of a revolution that finally led to the emancipation of women and putting them on an equal pedestal. I don't get it. The moment you start yelling men are morons, men can't stand women being at the fore, men can't this, men can't that, you are essentially doing what Kejriwal does when Modi is sitting peacefully making decisions for the country. We need to stop generalising and start accepting that the world is changing, and has, in fact, been changing for a while now. It's like what Billy Joel says, "We didn't start the fire. It was always burning."

Now I am no evolutionary expert, but right since the beginning of time, there was division of labour. Men earned food, women procreated and took care of their families. You can see the patterns among animals, we know of it from our own recent history. We are evolving out of those roles and adopting new ones. What we need to understand is the fact that this transition will take time. This is centuries of ingrained thinking we are trying to change. Now I understand that there are some humans, who are pretty jerk-like about women getting all the good things in life, but that is a different problem you want to be solving. When our beloved piss-mouth politicians make public statements that basically sound like they wouldn't think twice before molesting or harassing a woman if she comes within close proximity, THAT is when you need to be yelling bloody murder. Pick the battles that you need to fight, women. Stop picking on a puberty-ridden boy because he goes red in the face because you want to discuss your menstrual cycle with him. Or that woman who wants to fast for her husband because she wants to.  Fight for the ones that actually matter.

In all of this, I love to see how our adverts evolve. The 60s typically showed women playing roles of homemakers, the 90s were all about swag and muscle power. I don't really know what the previous decade was about, but this decade is all about the women. From Zivame showing your next door neighbour who isn't typically anorexic in her smalls (and she's killing it too!), to Tanishq calling out how motherhood isn't just about sacrifices. In fact, the new Reebok ad campaign for Be More Human showcasing a little girl trying on her mum's various shoes led to this post. Turns out the Indian campaign is actually called #FitToFight. It kind of takes away the importance you attach to your own daily fights, doesn't it?

Just my 2 cents. Don't be yelling at me if you think differently. 

The Book List

It's been a while since a single book got me all riled up, either with its awesomeness, sadness, happiness or any other ness. Surprisingly, the last one year has had multiple books that came my way and made me feel all those emotions. This post is a tribute to all those books that have made my slow moving car rides worth their time.

First off, I cannot begin to tell you how easy reading has become now that I have the Kindle. It fits my little side bag, it carries the weight of 40 books without me worrying about doggie ears and it even allows me to read in the dark. I am reading more than I was in my pre-Kindle days. It doesn't mean I am a complete convert and have stopped reading paperbacks and hardbacks. They are still very much a part of my life. But considering how much time I have spent in airplanes and airports in the past one year, I cannot help feeling grateful for this invention.

Because these beauties still rule my life

I am going to begin with the first book of the year that left me high and dry. Manu Joseph's Illicit Happiness of Other People. It is about a lost father looking for answers in all the wrong places. I am not going to give more of the plot because I don't want to ruin the experience for you. I loved Manu Joseph's writing style. It is dark and humorous. He manages to weave a regular story with such flair, you don't feel like putting the book down. I was almost skipping words in order to find out what Chacko discovers next, a feat not many books have been capable of achieving. I have just discovered Manu Joseph's blog with TOI. I am probably going to spend some time going through it now.

Lust for Life by Irving Stone

I am going to cheat with this one. I love this book not for the way it is written, but for the subject that its 431 pages ramble on about. It is a biography of Vincent Van Gogh, woven together from the various letters exchanged between him and his brother. The writing feels blotchy and broken, but towards the end, it sort of begins to merge with the way Van Gogh led his life and begins to make more sense. I even ended up having a couple of Absinthe shots post this. And guess who's painting covered the front of the box in which the drink came?

I have been contemplating picking up his Agony and Ecstasy on the life of Michelangelo, but I haven't been able to convince myself to do it yet.

Cyril, thanks for this one!

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

My second Neil Gaiman after The Ocean at the End of the Lane. Made me glad I gave him a second chance. (I know you're a die hard Gaiman fan, but don't be judging me yet!) This book, is unlike anything else I have ever read. (Or maybe like something Japanese I may have read). Twisty and turny, I like how all the pieces fall together towards the end. You could call it a book for kids if you were one, but you could also call it a book for adults, if you are one. 

A Case of Exploding Mangoes by Mohammed Hanif

HO HO HO! This one, left me in awe! It was so dark, it was funny. The book is about the plane crash that killed General Zia. It comes with its own conspiracy theory. For a species obsessed with conspiracies, it is hard not to fall in love with this one. Needless to say, after this book ends, you will spend the better part of an afternoon reading up on General Zia and his Pakistan. I know I did. At the sake of missing sprint tasks. Of a product I owned. (Just kidding. Would I make it public knowledge if that were to happen?). I give all credits for me reading this book to Raghu. After making me read Twilight ten years ago, I think this was his best recommendation to me ever. Little brother has finally grown up.

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman

(Disclaimer: I had no idea this book was made into a movie nominated for an Oscar when I started reading it. If I had, there is a strong possibility I would have never read it. It was actually a series of circumstances that led me to this one. First off, I read an article on Facebook where a lady spoke about the importance of sharing books with your loved ones. She explicitly took the example of this book to drive home her point. Secondly, thanks to Amazon, I found it for INR 49 the next day. Sort of just landed in my lap. (GOOO Kindle!)

Where do I begin with this one? I have no words to describe it. Hence, I shall call it cute. It is about an old man who has a routine. If I say anything more than that, you would hate me for spoiling it for you. All I am going to say is that this book made me gasp, smile, tear up and laugh out loud, all in a span of 300 pages. It's the sort of book that leaves you with a warm, fuzzy feeling after you have read the last page. It was also the sort of book that makes you not want to reach the last page. I think it has ruined me for other books for some time. I have actually picked up Sylvia Plath to bring me back to ground reality for now. I hope it was not too early to have moved on. PLEASE read it, especially if you haven't seen the movie. I don't know how  they could have taken such a complex character and put him inside a movie. I need to sit and introspect before I can decide whether I want to watch the movie or not. Meanwhile, read it.

Leave comments if you want to talk about any of the books above. I would love to hear your opinions!!

Naina