Life

The mundane,
The melancholy.
The twitch,
The dream.
The hopes,
And wishes.
Down the beaten path,
And then
The routine.

Epiphany

While brushing my teeth today morning, the meaning of 50 Shades of Grey suddenly hit me smack in the face. I suppose what E. L. James was trying to say is that in life there is no black and white, there are just so many shades of gray. I am assuming it refers to the shaded (shady?) preferences of the characters. And I thought, wow, that's deep. I just wish the term was associated with something less pornographic in nature, so it could have been used in daily parlance without eliciting raised eyebrows and giggles from the audience.
And then it was time to rinse my mouth and wash.

Until next time,

Naina

A Working Title

There are days you look forward to, and then there are days. Lately, there had been more of the latter. Every day was the same. Shalini would wake up, get dressed, and go to work. There, she would sit all day, staring out the window, waiting for something to happen. If it were a good day, the girl from the next cubicle would stop by for a chat. If not, well, there was always something happening outside the window. Once in a while, her boss would summon her, and hand her some mundane task to keep her occupied. At times, it involved doing an inventory check, which was dull and took up all day in a dark basement, at other times, it involved interacting with some of the other juniors in the team, which took up just a few hours. The past few weeks, she hasn't been handed any work at all. She sighed. The street was deserted outside today. She wondered if the boss had forgotten she was still there. And then she wondered if there was anyone who remembered she was there. At that thought, she slumped into her chair. Was it supposed to be like this? In her quest to earn a living, was she supposed to forget living? She looked around her, and realized there wasn't a single person in the room that she cared about. Nobody whose presence had made an ounce of difference in her life. Nobody who she looked forward to seeing every day. Did she really want to spend all her life among strangers, pretending to be alive?
It occurred to her how truly unhappy she really was. It was close to evening, and she hasn't spoken all day. There had been no one to speak with. Oh, wait, she had spoken with her mother on the phone. The thought comforted her a bit. She wished she could crawl into her mother's lap and weep right now. She took a deep breath and calmed herself down. She checked the time, gathered her things and walked up to the boss. He was leaning over a paper list, marking things off with his pen.
"Arjun?"
He looked up at her with a look of mild surprise.
"Umm..can I take the rest of the day off? I don't feel too good."
A look of relief passed across his face. "Sure, if you're not feeling too good by tomorrow, don't worry about coming in. Things are anyway quite slow here. I am sure one of the others can fill in for you."
For some reason, the last words made her feel worse than what she had been feeling earlier. There was probably nothing worse in life than being made to realize how completely and wholly replaceable you are in other people's lives. She quietly nodded her head as Arjun went back to his list and walked out of there.
The moment she stepped out, a gust of hot wind hit her in the face. It was sweltering outside. No wonder the streets were empty. She took another deep breath, and started walking away from the building. One step at a time. After she had covered sufficient distance, a kind of dread came over her. What next? Go home and do what? There wasn't much to do. She couldn't bear the thought of lying in bed staring at the ceiling. It was then that the first tears started rolling down her cheeks. She felt miserable. She wished she could run away from it all, and start fresh. Maybe, take the path less traveled. She wished she had taken the time to think about her next step before jumping into this job, so melancholy, and so far from everyone. She had reached her car, she got in and closed the door. It was a second hand hatchback, something her father had got for her when she moved out of the house. It was the only saving grace for her in the city. It allowed her the kind of mobility and freedom she needed right then. She drove out of the parking lot, into the blue nowhere. She had no idea where she was headed, she just knew she wasn't going home yet.

END OF PART I

Part II